I'm really into asian looking animals
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
