I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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