so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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