oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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