Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
What drink are we having for lunch?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
