Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
