Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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