your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
