I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
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At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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