Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize