Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize