oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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