Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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