It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
