Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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