I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
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Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
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We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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