Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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