He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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