I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
