upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
