I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
