the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
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