He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize