his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
so much tequila, so little girl.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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