I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize