There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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