there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize