Whod you bang
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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