Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
