She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
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Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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