thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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