I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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