They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
