Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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