they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
