your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
