Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
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I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
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Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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