i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Why is your signature on my underwear?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize