I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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