you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
