So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
