Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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