You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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