Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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