Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
