Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
we should paint friendship bongs
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