Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Are we in a gay sports bar?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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