The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
whose parrot is this?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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