You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize