dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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