hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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