Me too!
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize