K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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