Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
