this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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