Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
